Friday, December 2, 2011

Now this really gets my goat...


Do you see this image? Do you even have a clue what it is?
Allow me to rant enlighten you.

It's the badge from the Epcot Wonders of Life pavilion.
Location: Orlando, Florida
How to find it: Go to Epcot Center at Disney World. Look for the big gold dome beside Universe of Energy that's closed.  It's pretty damn simple to locate even for idiot tourists.

Now this is why I get pissed.

Wonders of Life had the goal of letting the morons know to put the fork down and take care of their bodies.  Which I'm not the best example of this, it was pretty amazing when you think that MetLife and Disney put this together in 1989 before the "We're all FAT" thing became an epidemic.  They tried to teach the sheeple that you should probably stuff some semi-healthy things down your Pie-hole once in a while to go with that Mickey Ice cream bar you just ate.

Have you figured out I'm not a huge fan of idiots and I'm sarcastic?
Good.

Now, the Pavilion closed in 2007 but had been in decline since 2001 when MetLife dropped sponsorship. Eventually it completely closed, the rides and attractions where shuttered and left for the dust bunnies to colonize. Now it's rotting in the Florida sunshine, open only rarely for event space. This means the rides never run and it's just a convenient place to find some air conditioning on those hot days unless your interested in the event being held.

On to the rant now that you've got a little bit of background history.

With the fact "Eat Healthy and Exercise"is the big craze again to the point their making you pay extra for your Happy Meal today, you would think Disney would cash in on this. Wonders of Life is simply sitting there unused and it's entire point was, get this, Health and Exercise!
They really need to step up the ball for this one.
Rides and Shows can still easily run, the settings where never taken out or re-programed. The space is empty and waiting to be used for something, so get to work. Re-open and update the Cranium Command show which was a family friendly show about how your body reacts in daily events.
Body Wars was a simulator ride threw the human body, very "Innerspace". Now while I've heard various rumors that the simulators themselves have been gutted for parts to support Star Tours, I've also heard they used two untouched ride simulators for the pre-testing of the new Star Tours.
(If you can give me a straight answer on this or better yet: Pictures, I'll love you forever and give you cookies)
This could could probably be brought back online with a little work and some updates. If you wanted to get frisky and keep it more family friendly, you could do a cartoon/reality hybrid similar to Osmosis Jones.

There is so much you could do with this place.
For food options you could have a Salad and Juice bar. If you really want to appeal to people, offer vegetarian fare or even vegan options.  Use those big words they like to tote out on the news like "Reduced Fat" and "Reduced Sodium", get people to try it at least. Perhaps they felt frisky, a small show like the old pizza places in the style of "Kitchen Kaberat" could easily be a draw for young and old..

Which brings up shows and space fillers. You could have something to the extent of "What fat does to you" or if that isn't hunky-dory enough for Disney "Exercising doesn't hurt, you've been doing it all day". Once upon a time the pavilion sported "Peddle Bikes" which showed you a move of you walking around one of the Disney Parks. Update and upgrade these for a 3D feel and you'd easily have a winner on your hands.  It could even print out a little "I peddled around XXXXXX today!" things so people have a little memento and no one is going to want one that says "My fat ass only peddled 20 feet".

It just boggles my mind that WDI and Management has simply let this place sit for so long without use, especially with current trends.

The downside to this is also the fact it's sat so very long.
The pavilion it's-self is in very rough shape both inside and out. It's pretty viable even if your just inside for a few moments that the roof is leaking, the fact they let people inside with this isn't exactly surprising.. just upsetting.


At this point I'm  not even sure the building would be sound enough to gut and re-model but letting it just rot away can't be the right answer. Wake up and smell the mold, Disney. It's time to put Epcot back to glory not let attractions be shuttered for no reason. Go approch someone like Whole Foods or Kashi and get this place back on the map!

If you'd like a better idea of the Pavilion's History, I reccomend:
Martin's Vids, The Wonders of Live
All Ears, Basic Rundown of Wonders of Life