Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Halloween Haunt Review: The Dent School House

Picture from Dent School House

Event: The Dent School House
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
When: October 25th, 2012
Price: $20-30
Rating: Stop what your doing and GO. Now. Move it!
Recommendation:  Don't ask questions, Just Drive!


!Disclaimer!
After contacting Dent School House to say we planned to be in the area would would love to check them out, we where invited to view their haunt and where surprised with media tickets. Afterward we got to chat with the owner and some of their cast. Also keep in mind we went late on Thursday evening.



What can I say about Dent School House in a single phrase?
 ...
 ...
 ...
Holy Tap-Dancing Christ on a Crutch!





  I was floored, I mean completely floored with what I encountered with Dent School House. Walking in with no idea of what to expect and very little idea of what this house does, I probably walked away more giddy then a schoolgirl hopped up on pixie stix.  The creative and perfectly themed show this haunt offers is on a new level of twisted shit.. and I LOVED it. 

  Not only is this an amazing haunted house, it's got a twisted history that's truly something to read. To give you a quick summery the Janitor "Charlie" murdered students and kept their corpses in the basement, later found by angry locals... but the Janitor was never found. Many believe this to be a true haunted location with the spirits of these students and perhaps the Janitor himself roaming the hallways.

  Taking this kind of twisted history and turning it into a haunted house, following the same theme of a murderous janitor and his minions was pure genius on the part of the owners.  In keeping this theme you'll find a macabre cast of tormented children, dead teachers and evil spirits waiting to happily scare the control out of your bladder control.
Being the twisted person I really am,  I didn't find myself scared but I was so busy looking around I easily could spend hours and multiple tours threw this haunt.. and still not spot everything amazing! Nothing here is safe or sacred, everything and everyone who walks threw the doors is fair game. You'll be looking one direction and have scares coming from right and left at you, they really are masters of miss direction. 

  There is truly so much I'd love to tell you about this haunt but saying too much would give away some key information on scares. With that said I'm afraid that  I'm going to have to be very, very vague. I suggest if you want to see it just get in the car and go!


  Opening we start with a small group threw a playground of twisted children and one very over-zealous preacher man attempting to tell us to just stay out. Naturally we don't listen and enter, finding ourselves in engulfed in something out of your worst (or best) High School Nightmares.  Student being tormented and tortured by your friendly staff with teachers in prim clothing hanging from the stairway. A Biology classroom gone wrong, Insane Gym Coaches, Truly evil Cafeteria Ladies and so much more lurks within these hallways.. I also suggest you make sure you look UP! 

 After twisted and turning threw this various corridors, threw an auditorium and even a school carnival you descend into the true darkness of this school. The underbelly of the beast and you know it from the narrow stairway.  Nothing good can come from this area, Nothing. Your in the bowels of the school, the lair of the Janitor. Dust and Depression cover the area with dozens of scares lurking around every corner. You'll wonder threw storage areas, old school house items piled in what appears to be a haphazard fashion all designed to give you that closed in feeling. By this point, escape if futile because your already screwed folks.  The Auto Shop was also down here, this was easily one of my favorite rooms in this entire haunt. I suggest you watch out, the oddest things may try to run you over down there! You just know the Janitor is lurking close, you can feel this haunt drawing towards it's true crescendo of hell. It gives me a happy feeling just remembering it!

  In the manner of keeping you scared out of your wits, I'll say nothing more. Just go experience this haunt, I can't say that enough times! 


Image from Dent School House
 New for 2012, Dent School House is offering a new maze-style haunt with a crazy twist. Unlike many mazes I've seen over the years which tend to be tightly enclosed and blacked out, this maze haunt gives you clear line of site with lovely detention cell bars! To make this higher on the scar-eepy scale it's being run by a twisted clown called "Boss Honk!" and his minions. They are up close, in your face and dogging your footsteps the entire way threw. You will get lost, turned around and very confused. Between the clowns, Fog machines operating at overtime and blinking lights followed by a truly skull-splitting happy song... your in for it.


  In the end I can find very few things to possibly nit-pick about Dent School House, In fact I had to dig pretty damn hard to even find one thing that someone outside the Haunt Industry would notice. As a guest I doubt you'd even notice these things but we did. They have a heavy use of Animatronics in this haunt, while those are great (and they really are) they should really be paired with live actors to give you the one-two punch straight into your fear-glands. Another things we noticed where a few rooms without actors, I can't say if this is on purpose or not but I'd like to see actors in every room giving folks a non-stop terror ride threw hell. Other then these two admittedly very minor things, this haunt was by far one of the best I've seen in many years. 

  So if you've been putting off going to Dent School House I sincerely suggest you drop what your doing, change your plans and threaten your friends with sporks to get there! You now have 3 days left including Halloween Night plus the first weekend in November.
 So shut up, get in the car and make tracks!